Why I don't feel like Christmas......

[fortyshooter]

My wife's condition is of course worse than last year and even 6 months ago. Her hygiene habits are not like they use to be and any kind of present memory capability is nothing. She has forgotten how to do makeup fix her hair and all the other things women know. There are women in the family but none offer or come by to help make her look good like one who owns a hair salon and great at makeup. I need to go thru her clothes and get rid of all that is to big now so it would be great if one of the women would find a bit of time to take her out to buy new clothes that fit. I have to keep the fridge locked up even if I am in another part of the house as she will get on a snacking binge and raid the fridge even though I leave her an apple in the morning and one in afternoon. Eating one or a couple of anything doesn't register with her memory. In January I will visit and talk with the folks at one of the best nursing home/memory cares places and it is just up the street in town. Very expensive but luckily, she enrolled in LTC insurance 23 years ago so she could go 4 years in that place and after that a lesser quality place that will take Medicare. When my wife leaves our home she is never coming back home because she could not take care of herself if something happens to me at age 71.
Nope I do not feel like Christmas this year. I put up no decorations this year at all cause the one I did it for doesn't know it is Christmas.

[BigAl52]

Prayers for the best outcome Forty. Ive seen it many times with my wife owning an assisted living place for 30 years. Its a real eye opening experience about life

[fortyshooter]

Prayers for the best outcome Forty. Ive seen it many times with my wife owning an assisted living place for 30 years. Its a real eye opening experience about life

Thanks Al. I thinking she will get the type personal care she needs that I can't do....I hope!

[RanchRoper]

That is something we could never imagine or plan for when we are young and relatively care free. You are doing all you can by the sound of it, try to cut yourself some slack if you can. Your dear wife appreciates it even if she can’t show it. Christmas is a time for caring and you are doing exactly that. Prayers for you.

[BigAl52]

That is something we could never imagine or plan for when we are young and relatively care free. You are doing all you can by the sound of it, try to cut yourself some slack if you can. Your dear wife appreciates it even if she can’t show it. Christmas is a time for caring and you are doing exactly that. Prayers for you.

Good one Keith well said.

[CT_Shooter]

Forty, I don't think what you are feeling has anything to do with Christmas, but it has everything to do with loss and the loss of a soulmate ranks among the hardest of them all. I hope you get through it quickly, but I've been without my wife for 8 years now and I'm only just beginning to find enjoyment again. On the other hand, I know a man my age who was married for decades and when he lost his wife, he remarried within a year. Can't say which is better, but I can say you probably don't have a choice about it.

I'm pretty sure you can't stop or contain that love emotion. I take one day at a time, one bootstep after the next. I'm getting there. You're in my thoughts.

[cooperhawk]

Nope I do not feel like Christmas this year. I put up no decorations this year at all cause the one I did it for doesn't know it is Christmas.

My Mother in Law, ( a very nice lady), died of Alzheimer's a few years back and my wife fears it every day. I had my own Mother in a Nursing Home for five years until she died on Christmas day of 2010. Few folks know this but I also lost a wife and son two day before Christmas in1963.

I know, it sucks but you just deal with it and carry on my friend. I have no idea why God has let me live for 85 years, I'm sure it's not because I am a good Christian, but here I am. Most of my cousins and a lot of my friends are gone but I'm not. Carol is really sick with the flu so no Christmas here either. No big deal, life goes on.

Just take care of yourself. There is some happiness left I am sure.

[BrokenolMarine]

Miss Tina and I know first-hand how devastating the disease can be. My mentor's wife went through it. Tina was there for her through most of it, though we moved from VA before the very end. Ruth was an RN with over forty years on the floors, so it was much harder on her in the beginning. As she started to fade in and out at first, she knew what was to come. She had been the one to comfort so many others and see them through.

My father had been in the Navy, flown as a RIO in F4s, and had a long career post Navy as Civil Service in support positions at the Air Station. He loved his life and his slow spiral was hard on the family as well. Hospice care was their only option. We were 1500 miles away.

It's a hard choice my friend, but likely the best for both of you.

[RanchRoper]

It can be a tough time of year. My mother passed a year ago on the 21st. My wife’s mother 11 yrs ago today. Just came from the cemetery putting candle there.

[HenryFan]

Forty -

My thoughts are with you in such a difficult time. I pray that you and your beloved wife have the best possible outcome. I wish I was there to somehow help.

Peace to you, my friend.

James

[markiver54]

Hang in there Forty. Thoughts are with you.
This will be our first Christmas without my Mom.

[Ernie]

That is something we could never imagine or plan for when we are young and relatively care free. You are doing all you can by the sound of it, try to cut yourself some slack if you can. Your dear wife appreciates it even if she can’t show it. Christmas is a time for caring and you are doing exactly that. Prayers for you.

I could not have expressed it better.
Prayers.

[graywolf]

I believe the same way as RanchRoper. Your wife may not can express her feelings, but she knows what you are doing. Will be thinking about you..

[fortyshooter]

Many thanks for all of your thoughts and support. My brief relief is when I can spend a couple hours down at my range property but I do call her on the phone and somehow she answers it as my name pops up on it. I tell her where and what I am doing and she will look out the window looking for me.
Our next-door neighbor lost her husband back in January after he had suffered several strokes over couple years plus my brother died Jan. 21 so we both talk about our struggles. Going to my nieces home for Christmas Eve dinner which is new thing this Christmas and then to my son's place Christmas as I take a break from doing it at our home. Will be getting back down to the range soon for more FUN.
Hope you all enjoy the Christmas Holidays!!

[JVogler]

Forty may GOD grant you the strength and some relief that you and your wife could both use right now.

[daytime dave]

Forty, my thoughts are with you and your wife.

For her sake, I hope she is blissfully unaware. You are a good person and will make sure she gets what she needs now. I'll be working on Christmas, so no going to family gatherings. Just another day at work.

[Sir Henry]

My thoughts and Prayers will be with you forty. Keep doing the things you enjoy doing like shooting. It’s okay to escape reality if for even a moment.

[Hatchdog]

Happy you are getting some range relief and bless you for the support you give to your wife. Merry Christmas to the both of you.

[GFK]

I can understand. We went through something similar with my mother, years ago. It was not pleasant. I was just glad that she was in a place to care for her. Yet, all places are not equal. So, visit often.

God bless

[brm4450]

Sometimes I feel like that, MIL passed away Christmas Eve years ago, brother passed away on Christmas morning. I let these things bring me down and then I think oh something good like my shooting partner finishing her first semester in school for the first time in 4 years, my daughter doing a gender reveal of a grandson due this May. These things make me feel happy.