Golden Years ?

[markiver54]

Don't know if I qualify yet at 64, and wife is 71.
Shouldn't life get easier? We've both worked hard all our life, yet for the last few days we have had our heart strings tugged on by our children. My wife has a pretty impoverished son in Oklahoma who just signed for and bought a new/used truck that is turning out to be a lemon. Money for parts being sent!...My son here in NC is approaching foreclosure on their home without some help.
No...unfortunately, we are not parents to Harvard Grads, but we love them and every time we get ready to do something for ourselves, these things seem to pop up...
I want my new SA revolver and she wants to see the beech for the first time in over 15 years.
Sorry to whine here, we will get through all of this, just a set back. We are not impoverished, just trying to stay that way!
Golden Years...I dunno...

[BrokenolMarine]

Look for my PM in a bit... I'm typing.

[RanchRoper]

We will keep you in our prayers.

This too shall pass.

[markiver54]

Thank you RR...appreciate it very much!!

[Lyman]

How old are they? Mine haven't asked me for anything since they turned 18. Now 26, 32 and 34. I have let them come back home a time or two though. They are always welcome under my roof.

[markiver54]

How old are they? Mine haven't asked me for anything since they turned 18. Now 26, 32 and 34. I have let them come back home a time or two though. They are always welcome under my roof.

Both in 40's unfortunately...things just have not worked out well for them.
Thanks for asking though!

[Lyman]

I hope things turn around for them. I have been down on my luck many times and know how it is. They are lucky to have Parents that care enough to help.

[markiver54]

I hope things turn around for them. I have been down on my luck many times and know how it is. They are lucky to have Parents that care enough to help.

Thank you soo much Lyman!!

[Jenkinsd]

Can your son hang on long enough to do a short sale? It won't effective his credit as much as a foreclosure. My wife is a Real Estate Broker and she has done Short Sales and Foreclosures. You are more than welcome to talk to her. No cost just some good advice.

[JEBar]

I hope things turn around for them. I have been down on my luck many times and know how it is. They are lucky to have Parents that care enough to help.

agree .... as with so much in daily life, the things we face tend to have a balancing point .... sometimes they tip one way, sometimes another .... one thing we learned the hard way is, when things aren't working out, changes have to be made .... we found that we couldn't keep going in a direction that wasn't working and expect it to change .... in short, we tended to get comfortable in a rut ..... sure hope y'all can quickly begin to turn things around

[Cofisher]

Mark, with tears in my eyes I am praying for you and your family. I know what you are going through. Have faith, God will see and provide. Be at peace brother.

[cooperhawk]

I'm a little older than you Mark, but we've been through all of that a few times. We still help out one child financially as she is a divorced single parent trying really hard to provide for our two Grand kids. I don't mind as she works full time herself. My youngest son finally broke all contact with us because we no longer would support what he was doing, (nothing), and I suspect that was the biggest favor he ever did for us. Not sure how he supports himself, but at least we're not supporting him any longer. We were just enabling his life style. Haven't heard from him for five years now. Do we miss him? Well yes, but not all the heart ache he caused.

I know it's rough right now, but when you get through the worst of it, it gets easier.

I never had to ask my Dad for help, but when he suddenly died I felt lost because I always knew that if I really needed help, he would. Then he was gone and I was on my own.

Hang in.

[CT_Shooter]

Mark, I hope you and your extended family can work it out without ruining your retirement.

My advice about your finances is to put your own needs first and don't jeopardize your own long term security, as emotionally difficult as that might be. Your adult kids will be OK, though a bit battered. Most of us have had a few lean times to overcome in our lives, and we eventually learn how to get it right. They will, too.

And, I know this will sound trite, but it is true. If each of you has good health, a good attitude, and you love each other, then you have pretty much everything that's really important. A trifecta.

[markiver54]

Can your son hang on long enough to do a short sale? It won't effective his credit as much as a foreclosure. My wife is a Real Estate Broker and she has done Short Sales and Foreclosures. You are more than welcome to talk to her. No cost just some good advice.

Thank you so much for your kind offer. Will keep that option in mind.

[markiver54]

Thank you Jim. I'm sure we'll figure some things out. Just need a little space between us and the problems. Everything has been right in our face two fold for the past few days.

[cooperhawk]

My advice about your finances is to put your own needs first and don't jeopardize your own long term security, as emotionally difficult as that might be. Your adult kids will be OK, though a bit battered. Most of us have had a few lean times to overcome in our lives, and we eventually learn how to get it right. They will, too.

That's some really good advice. Remember, they're still young with the ability to work their way through it. Your earning years, are for all purposes, over. You have what you have and that's about it. Hold the candle to their feet for a change.

There is a book by the Psychologist Dobson called "Tough Love". Give it a read it helped us a lot.

[markiver54]

Thank you Coop! Good advise as I re-group, per-say from the last few days.
There is a lot of wisdom to be found and considered here and it is appreciated.

[markiver54]

You are ALL very good people here. Thoughtful comments and wisdom shared is amazing. Thank you! Better days ahead for us, I feel sure of it...

[Mgderf]

My dad used to say, "The hurrider I go, the farther behind I get".

I feel for you, but family is family.
You've got to do what you've got to do...

[markiver54]

Thank you Mgderf. and you are right!
Gotta do what I gotta do!
In the mean time...send me that American Eagle and I will feel a lot better.. .couldn't resist. Thank you again though for your response!