Could I impose on your time to give me an opinion?

[DsGrouse]

I'm diligently working on getting book one out. There is so much to learn and cover for it to be published. One of the looming issues is what is called the book blurb. I'm looking for nonauthor input, I know that sounds a bit odd, but I've found authors often make for the worst advice as they often want things in their style, not the style of the person they are reviewing.

Sometimes, it is on the inside jacket of a hardback, the back cover of a paperback, or on a display page of a web browser.

These blurbs are not so much a summary but an enticement of what is in the book. They range from 100 to 300 words usually. The ones that I like have been shorter, closer to that 100 mark than 200 or even 300.

So, I have a blurb I've been working on for the first of my five-book series. It is Science fiction/fantasy and will be under the categories of Science fiction/fantasy, technothriller, and alternate history.

Here is the cover,


Here is my proposed blurb:

It has been seven years since I was injured on a mission workup, which cost me my career in the Compact Military.


Adding insult to that injury, the past two years of recovery since the failure of the Dillon Dimensional Gate have been a harsh lesson.


Thankfully, a brother from my days in the mud and the blood has offered me a new purpose in life while allowing me to pilot again. And I have found her: my siren, my love, who grounds me in my humanity as I forge mankind's path on new worlds.



With the aid of new friends and old allies, I unravel the mystery of my past and the tragedy for which I am implicated.

Does this blurb fit the cover?

Does it spark your interest?

What sticks out about the cover and blurb?

Is there anything that doesn't fit in the blurb?

Do you need more information in the blurb?

[Cofisher]

Yeah, I'd read that. Not enough there to really critique. Good luck.

[daytime dave]

Interesting request. Here is my opinion.
The blurb mentions many things which are obviously in the book(s). The cover art shows me a man and some robots about to set off on a mission.
It sparks my interest.
The cover has a stunning mountain landscape. It appears to show the man starting a journey. The blurb covers a lot of ground.
The part about unraveling the mystery of his past doesn't fit the rest of the blurb to me.
The blurb and the cover art don't seem to have much to do with each other. More relating to the cover art in the blurb help.

I applaud your seeking of advice here. Since we are all friends here, I know any responses are only meant to help.

[Vaquero]

Not my cup of tea.

RP

[DsGrouse]

Interesting request. Here is my opinion.
The blurb mentions many things which are obviously in the book(s). The cover art shows me a man and some robots about to set off on a mission.
It sparks my interest.
The cover has a stunning mountain landscape. It appears to show the man starting a journey. The blurb covers a lot of ground.
The part about unraveling the mystery of his past doesn't fit the rest of the blurb to me.
The blurb and the cover art don't seem to have much to do with each other. More relating to the cover art in the blurb help.

I applaud your seeking of advice here. Since we are all friends here, I know any responses are only meant to help.

This is very helpful.

[DsGrouse]

Not my cup of tea.

RP

In what ways?

Does this blurb fit the cover?

Does it spark your interest?

What sticks out about the cover and blurb?

Is there anything that doesn't fit in the blurb?

Do you need more information in the blurb?

[The Wiz]

The cover is great. It evokes the heroic mission that you are writing about. The blurb confuses me especially the third paragraph. Who is the siren? How is she or him connected?It seems to me something is missing. I read a lot of S/f over my 70 yrs and if the blurb does not grab me, the book goes back on the shelf. Perhaps go to the library look at Heinlein,Clarke,Asimov or more currently Webber or Abercrombie and see if you pick up some ideas. Hope this helps.

[Vaquero]

Not my cup of tea.

RP

In what ways?

Does this blurb fit the cover?

Does it spark your interest?

What sticks out about the cover and blurb?

Is there anything that doesn't fit in the blurb?

Do you need more information in the blurb?

None of the above, as soon as I saw the cover I immediately scrolled past.
Not interested in that type of read.

Good luck to ya.

RP

[DsGrouse]

None of the above, as soon as I saw the cover I immediately scrolled past.
Not interested in that type of read.

Good luck to ya.

RP

Thank you, That brings up more questions if you don't mind. Is there something that put you off on the cover making it, not the type of book you would be interested in? or is Science fiction/fantasy (be it hard science or soft) not the type of book you enjoy reading?

The cover is great. It evokes the heroic mission that you are writing about. The blurb confuses me especially the third paragraph. Who is the siren? How is she or him connected?It seems to me something is missing. I read a lot of S/f over my 70 yrs and if the blurb does not grab me, the book goes back on the shelf. Perhaps go to the library look at Heinlein,Clarke,Asimov or more currently Webber or Abercrombie and see if you pick up some ideas. Hope this helps.

To be honest, I've never been a blurb reader. I open the book and read the first few pages. Up until last week, I did not realize most people read the back cover/interior cover flap blurb. I've been searching many of the old books I've read, most of the author's you mentioned. Older books rarely have a blurb on line. Mostly they have a summary of the reasons why the books is good. Newer authors have a blurb, but online sales often blend it with the larger publican summary.

So weeding out the blurb from a summary has been difficult. Your not the first to mention the love interest as being confusing. I may drop that.

I'm working on a version focusing on Daytime Dave's comment about tying the cover to the blurb. I might have been too vague and too broad in my blurb. Thanks for all your input, I've two more test blurbs I'm playing around with. I'll put one together with Dave's suggestions and post here.

[Vaquero]

Thank you, That brings up more questions if you don't mind. Is there something that put you off on the cover making it, not the type of book you would be interested in? or is Science fiction/fantasy (be it hard science or soft) not the type of book you enjoy reading?

Exactly, don't care about fantasy or Si fi.
If I'm going to read fiction, I prefer espionage or a western, not that there are that much of the later anymore.
I liked the Tom Clancy stuff quite a bit, but I really don't read as much as I used to.

RP

[JEBar]

I admire your authoring a book and moving it to publication .... sorry, I can't be of any help with your question .... other than cook/grilling/smoking books, I've only bought one book since college .... that book is titled Five Years To Freedom written by Nick Rowe who was a Green Beret Lieutenant when he was captured in 1963 in Vietnam, his life became more than a matter of staying alive. In a Vietcong POW camp, Rowe endured beri-beri, dysentery, and tropical…he was the only Army officer to escape from one of their camps .... the bold print above is from his "book blurb" and I must admit I hadn't read it until you raised this question ....

[DsGrouse]

Thank you, That brings up more questions if you don't mind. Is there something that put you off on the cover making it, not the type of book you would be interested in? or is Science fiction/fantasy (be it hard science or soft) not the type of book you enjoy reading?

Exactly, don't care about fantasy or Si fi.
If I'm going to read fiction, I prefer espionage or a western, not that there are that much of the later anymore.
I liked the Tom Clancy stuff quite a bit, but I really don't read as much as I used to.

RP

I can understand that. I go through spurts where I only listen to one genre. Thanks for the input.

I admire your authoring a book and moving it to publication .... sorry, I can't be of any help with your question .... other than cook/grilling/smoking books, I've only bought one book since college .... that book is titled Five Years To Freedom written by Nick Rowe who was a Green Beret Lieutenant when he was captured in 1963 in Vietnam, his life became more than a matter of staying alive. In a Vietcong POW camp, Rowe endured beri-beri, dysentery, and tropical…he was the only Army officer to escape from one of their camps .... the bold print above is from his "book blurb" and I must admit I hadn't read it until you raised this question ....

I didn't do much reading until high school. I've been reading ever since. A decade or so ago, I started listening to audiobooks while working. Since then I've pretty much cut most other forms of media entertainment, save writing, out.

[DsGrouse]

I retooled and worked the blurb:

I am the sole survivor of the failed Dillon Dimensional Gate, and when I stumbled back through the gate, twenty-seven thousand settlers lost their connection to Earth Prime.

Adding insult to injury, the past two years of recovery were a series of harsh lessons, starting with my former employer publicly accusing me of having something to do with Dillon Dimensional Gate's failure.

Thanks to a brother from my days in the mud and blood, I have a new purpose that allows me to pilot SkipJacks while working to clear my name.

I have found a love, my Siren, that grounds my humanity as I forge mankind's path on new worlds when an adversary far older than anyone suspects finds me.

[Mags]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

[DsGrouse]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

That is what is on the cover.

[The Wiz]

I really like the new blurb.Succinct and to the point. Good rewrite!

[Mags]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

That is what is on the cover.

I didn't get that the artwork wasn't the cover. I don't recall ever seeing a blurb have it's own art work before. A blurb typically connects to the cover in some way.

[DsGrouse]

I didn't get that the artwork wasn't the cover. I don't recall ever seeing a blurb have it's own art work before. A blurb typically connects to the cover in some way.
[/quote]

Here is the cover,


The robot like things, are SkipJacks.

I really like the new blurb.Succinct and to the point. Good rewrite!

I am still working on the last paragraph.

I've gotten a bit of other feedback that I am going to give a go at. I'm not sure how it will go but I'll post here when it is ready. Take 37 on the blurb.

[daytime dave]

I like the rewrite except for the last sentence. It talks about finding a love and then goes into an adversary. Maybe talk about the adversary in a second sentence?

[DsGrouse]

I like the rewrite except for the last sentence. It talks about finding a love and then goes into an adversary. Maybe talk about the adversary in a second sentence?

How does this work out for you? I'll play with it a bit more, as I think i can cut down some of the second paragraph.

I am the sole survivor of the failed Dillon Dimensional Gate, and when I stumbled back through the gate, twenty-seven thousand settlers lost their connection to Earth Prime.

Adding insult to injury, the past two years of recovery were a series of harsh lessons, starting with my former employer publicly accusing me of having something to do with Dillon Dimensional Gate's failure. I fear an unseen adversary and believe they are far older than anyone suspects, and their reach across time, distance, and dimensions is unparalleled.

Thanks to a brother from my days in the mud and blood, I have a new purpose that allows me to pilot SkipJacks while working to clear my name.

I have found my love, my Siren, that grounds my humanity as I forge mankind's path on new worlds.

Here are two additional styles of blurbs that I am kicking around.

When Lightning strikes twice, you do not just burn; you char.

The sabotage of the industrial gate killed two people, scarred me, and cut off twenty-seven thousand colonists from Earth Prime.

I can pilot SkipJacks remotely again. I have found love in my Siren, and we strive to clear my name.

The evil that stalks us is old, older than we had surmised. Is what little humanity I have left enough to stand against it?

A colony world is lost; twenty-seven thousand colonists had their connection to humanity severed, and my former employer blames me.

The incident killed two people and left me charred. I am broken, alone, and recuperating when my old life knocks on my door with an explanation and an offer.

Is there enough of my humanity left to face foes untold?