Some Very Funny - Some Thought Provoking - Some I've Seen Before

[Vaquero]

Some Very Funny - Some Thought Provoking - Some I've Seen Before...

This is the first time in history we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up!

Wow! Bars, clubs and gyms all closed. My life is about to be exactly the same!

Hey creative community! Just a reminder that Shakespeare was quarantined for the plague when he wrote King Lear. No pressure!

Also highly contagious is kindness, patience, love, enthusiasm and a positive attitude. Don’t wait to catch it from others ... be the carrier!

Keep perspective: A 'Make A Wish' family had to cancel their plans and they may not get another chance.

Remember when we thought we were going to have a bad week because of the time change, full moon and Friday the 13th. We didn’t have a clue!

Definition of irony: Gas under two-fifty a gallon and no place to go.

Home schooling going well — two students suspended for fighting, one teacher fired for drinking on the job!

Maybe now society will realize we can make it without celebrities and professional sports ... but we can’t make it without farmers, ranchers and truckers!

Your parents and grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on your couch. You can do this!

April Fools Day is cancelled this year because no made up prank could match the unbelievable stuff going on in the world right now.

With March and April cancelled, the next holiday is Cinco De Mayo ... sponsored by Corona.

Stay inside, isolate or practice social distancing, clean yourself. LOL, I’ve become a house cat!

If the WuFlu forces Planned Parenthood to be closed for two weeks, the virus will have saved more lives than it has taken.

March morning 2040: John opened the last package of toilet paper bought by his parents in 2020.

Since everyone has started washing their hands like we’re supposed to, we’ll be working on shapes and colors next week.

If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 30-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before the WuFlu.

Due to panic buying, Walmart has opened register 3.

I’d hate to see a diarrhea virus breakout right now ... people are going to buy all the nose spray!

On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.

What if you had Coronavirus and Lyme disease?

The kid I hired to clean up the poop in the back yard just realized I don’t have a dog ... #OutOfToiletPaper

Pro Tip: If you get pulled over, just start coughing and coughing and coughing.

All these kids who have been learning Common Core math are about to learn how to 'Carry the One' from their new home school teachers.

That moment when you’re worried about the elderly and realize that you are the elderly.

Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home and will send us instructions about what to do and how to do it.

The folks who support open borders and the poop and needle filled streets are suddenly worried about a virus?!?

I say we close down the LameStream Media for 30 days and watch 80% of the world’s problems go away!

RP

[RanchRoper]

Haha...

[Cofisher]

Well done Vaquero...a lot of sad truth in there. We will overcome.

[Vaquero]

Well done Vaquero...a lot of sad truth in there. We will overcome.

Thanks, but I can't take credit, shamelessly stolen...
And ah, Reposted.

RP

[Grunt67]

Hey. It was there for the taking, right, LOL

[BrokenolMarine]

Funny.
The sad thing is, the quarantine hasn't changed much for us. After being paid to deal with stupid for so many years, after I retired, peace and quiet was a blessing. I stayed on my ridgeline, and only left when I had too. I was already holding in place.

[dasmoeturhead]

Funny.
The sad thing is, the quarantine hasn't changed much for us. After being paid to deal with stupid for so many years, after I retired, peace and quiet was a blessing. I stayed on my ridgeline, and only left when I had too. I was already holding in place.

Same for us here. Soon though we will have to come off the mountain for supplies. I hate to do it, but that's normal, cuz we don't enjoy going to town anyway.

[BrokenolMarine]

Funny.
The sad thing is, the quarantine hasn't changed much for us. After being paid to deal with stupid for so many years, after I retired, peace and quiet was a blessing. I stayed on my ridgeline, and only left when I had too. I was already holding in place.

Same for us here. Soon though we will have to come off the mountain for supplies. I hate to do it, but that's normal, cuz we don't enjoy going to town anyway.

It used to be that Miss T bought groceries for three months at a time, and ordered meat from the butcher in bulk for the same period. We only had to pick up milk and eggs at the small gas station in the village as needed. Now that we are moving, waiting for closing, we are using up the stores on our shelves to reduce what we will have to haul a thousand miles.

I just hope by the time we move we have put this behind us, and we are able to restock the new home... Sigh....

[cooperhawk]

Although I miss my Grandchildren a lot, this has been a very peaceful time for us. No need to get up early, or for that matter at all. I sleep in every day and then slowly drink coffee and start a quiet day. I find I have time to take slow enjoyable showers and just chill out in general. At lunch there are several food places that do carry out, and for dinner we have a freezer full of beef and chicken. Life isn't bad.

Social distancing is easy because we live five miles from any community. We can go for long walks on just our driveway or go sit by the lake and watch the wildlife. (Ice went out Sunday). Ducks and geese are migrating through right now. I putter in my shop in the afternoons.

It kinda reminds me of the old days when I was growing up. I like it.

But, when this is all over I want to see the Grand kids and have a big family dinner at our house.

Anybody else hope that this experience changes the way America sees itself?

[Vaquero]

Very well said Coop.
Would be a nice change of pace.

RP

[BigAl52]

Nice thoughts Coop. This will change America forever hopefully for the better. We need to be doing things different than we have been.