Letting Go Of Things

[Sir Henry]

I’ve been sorting through my hobby room which for the last two years was the junk room. Everything I didn’t need but couldn’t throw or give away was in that room.

The floor is mostly clear now but shelves and desks are still full. It is just a lot of small items that need a final keep or throw decision. The rest of the house has lots of empty space especially in closets so I actually have space to put a lot of it.

It seems I’m on the home stretch of letting go of things.

[Les]

I also have various collections of "good stuff" that "will come in handy someday".

I have things in my garden shed that I can't even recognise, but I just know that they're useful. I often think about having a clearout, but 1-3-5 years down the line, I know I'll be looking for it, so while it doesn't eat anything, or cost me anything, it stays where it is!

[daytime dave]

I'm glad to hear you can do it Gene. Sometimes there is no choice. I did two whole house clean outs in the last three years. It's amazing what I boiled it all down to.

Good luck in your organizing.

[PT7]

I'm moving this month (always fun), and it has been an experience and a half! That's mainly because of all the stuff that I haven't seen or maybe even touched in years. With my daughter's help, much of the good and/or useable things have gone to a new store that operates similarly to any thrift-type store, e.g. Salvation Army and others. And then I cannot count the trips I've made to my dumpster. I know of those things that couldn't even be given away, some things don't work right now, and so on.

Next step. At the new place, everything I've kept has been boxed and is awaiting me. When I have more leisurely time to open up all these "goodies" again, the second round of "letting go" will happen!

I have liked this effort to let go. The "burden" is getting lighter.

Thanks, Gene. Glad to hear you are on your "home stretch." Good job.
PT7


P.S. It was fun to read Les' comment saying there is garden stuff "he doesn't even recognize." Such surprises have happened to me, too, with this current move. That really slows you down and makes you think about all that stuff we carry with us!

I’ve been sorting through my hobby room which for the last two years was the junk room. Everything I didn’t need but couldn’t throw or give away was in that room.

The floor is mostly clear now but shelves and desks are still full. It is just a lot of small items that need a final keep or throw decision. The rest of the house has lots of empty space especially in closets so I actually have space to put a lot of it.

It seems I’m on the home stretch of letting go of things.

I also have various collections of "good stuff" that "will come in handy someday".

I have things in my garden shed that I can't even recognise, but I just know that they're useful. I often think about having a clearout, but 1-3-5 years down the line, I know I'll be looking for it, so while it doesn't eat anything, or cost me anything, it stays where it is!

[Sir Henry]

Thanks all for the replies. Seems I am not the only one in the boat. I have lived here for 30 years this last September and only three houses in the last 46 years.

One thing I am doing now is sorting stuff and I might come across something I do not need but don’t want to throw away. I’m putting things like this together and can throw entire drawers of stuff away without further sorting. I have one dresser dedicated to stuff like this.

[Henry88]

My sister died in 2000, and I've heard my BIL still has her clothes in the walkin closet.

[RanchRoper]

We have sooooooo much stuff....yikes, the thought of sorting through it gives me a headache.

[Henry88]

I’m putting things like this together and can throw entire drawers of stuff away without further sorting. I have one dresser dedicated to stuff like this.

May I suggest SirH Amvets or Goodwill rather than a toss ?

[Sir Henry]

I’m putting things like this together and can throw entire drawers of stuff away without further sorting. I have one dresser dedicated to stuff like this.

May I suggest SirH Amvets or Goodwill rather than a toss ?

Anything of value was given away but a few items was in such poor condition the Goodwill wouldn’t even want it.

[JEBar]

one of the lessons you've had to learn through traveling with your camper is how to figure out what is important enough to take with you .... its a lesson we have had to use on the road; unfortunately, I'm not as good in following it when we are home .... a quick look at our garage offers ample proof of it ....reaching a point where you are able to begin moving on is a significant milestone .... my compliments and respect for you reaching this point

[Sir Henry]

It has sometimes been a difficult road but I had made certain promises that I had to keep.

[BigAl52]

I think I have mentioned this before Gene. But I have lost 2 wives in my life to death. Its never good and always tough. I have a very close friend who is now 69 and he lost his wife about 4 years ago. Two weeks before she was to retire. When I lost mine I had a chance to recover because it happened when I was younger. I think about it often because of his and you're situation. Its a huge adjustment when we are at the age we are out now. Especially after being with the same person for 30 plus years. Good to see you going forward. Its also good to see my close friend doing the same. I will be back in the area again soon. I left a couple of guns at my sisters next time we can go shoot some 22"s. Who knows I may still get the urge to grab a pellet gun. Im still on the fence with it.

[Mags]

I sometimes think back to when everything I had would fit into the back seat and trunk of my compact sedan. Then in a station wagon and on the roof. Then a U-Haul truck. Then a moving Van. Now I tell my adult children to behave and respect their Mom and Dad or they get to deal with my junk after I'm gone. Making some progress to declutter and downsize, but not fast enough to my liking. Gets tiring after a while of working on it.

[ESquared]

What's the right strategy for accumulated firearms? Not that I'm headed underground any time soon, but I've got a handful of Sigs, a couple nice 1911s and now these 4 Henrys. My son can't/won't use all of them when I'm gone, my daughter won't touch 'em. I hate the idea of them selling for pennies on the dollar at some estate sale/auction, or taken in for next to nothing at the LGS just so they can legally get rid of them.
I've not so much thinned the herd as rearranged it, numbers-wise, but it' s time to start thinking longer term.

[BrokenolMarine]

What's the right strategy for accumulated firearms? Not that I'm headed underground any time soon, but I've got a handful of Sigs, a couple nice 1911s and now these 4 Henrys. My son can't/won't use all of them when I'm gone, my daughter won't touch 'em. I hate the idea of them selling for pennies on the dollar at some estate sale/auction, or taken in for next to nothing at the LGS just so they can legally get rid of them.
I've not so much thinned the herd as rearranged it, numbers-wise, but it' s time to start thinking longer term.

You can always donate a couple to an organization that will make good use of them, and won't sell them. Some teaching organization that promotes firearms skills for kids, NRA programs, etc. Sell a couple off to friends who you think deserve them at a fair price one at a time keeping the best for yourself to the end. Find a trusted friend to broker sales for you who is connected in the firearms trade? Donate one here and there to charity auctions.

I have a safe full, and I have three friends in the business that Miss T can turn to when and if she has to liquidate my collection so she doesn't get burned. If it falls to the daughter to dispose of the collection, the brokers are listed in my will and she is instructed as executor to do just that. Any firearm she decided to keep would be appraised and count against her share of the estate.

[BrokenolMarine]

As for letting go...

Miss T and I started to declutter several years ago, each dealing with our things personally and then facing "our" stuff together. We went room by room the first year and were amazed at the "stuff" we had accumulated over the years. We had tossed stuff every year, making a dump run as the new year began. But, you buy souvenirs and keepsakes and they just began to accumulate. We didn't toss them all, but we certainly began to thin things out.

It was harder for me, as I had two careers to thin. I had military orders from my entire career that took up two drawers in my office, and a lot of manuals and keepsakes from both careers that I had held on to. It was hard to decide what was memorabilia and what was trash. Two dump trips later, the office was a lot leaner but I still had things to look back on.

The fly tying room is still full, but we won't need to buy supplies very often. I won't have to stock for reloading or gun cleaning, but that is planning ahead. A lot of other stuff went. I donated a lot of books I will never read again, we went thru closets. If we hadn't worn it in the last year, or hadn't fit in it in the last year, we weren't going to. Gone. Donated. I had four VERY nice pairs of dress shoes from my time in various court rooms and they went. I kept one pair for weddings. All the dress suits but one, gone. Donated. Same with Miss T. DeClutter. Each year we make a pass, a room per week, and Declutter. Keeps us busy and clears things out.

Magazines? We don't keep them anymore unless they serve a purpose. Fly tying mags have recipes. Woodworking mags have plans. I keep Handgunner because I reread the articles several times over. The rest get donated to the VA. Less clutter.

The hardest thing to change was Habit. We too had the "We might be able to use this," attitude.
No longer.

[Sir Henry]

Sorry for your loses BigAl. I don’t think I could do this twice. Mags I think I’m down to two semi trailers. ES I’ve donated many firearms to museums. My main collection is mostly WWII firearms. BrokenM I am refininging the house and am (or was) dealing with large items for a long time.

I recently bought a new bed as I couldn’t sleep on the old one and used the spare bedroom. This is a major thing for me.

[BrokenolMarine]

Sorry for your loses BigAl. I don’t think I could do this twice. Mags I think I’m down to two semi trailers. ES I’ve donated many firearms to museums. My main collection is mostly WWII firearms. BrokenM I am refininging the house and am (or was) dealing with large items for a long time.

I recently bought a new bed as I couldn’t sleep on the old one and used the spare bedroom. This is a major thing for me.

SirH,

We dealt with a number of Large Items (If I am taking your meaning correctly) during the first year, then slowly over the next few years. We had a house filled with family heirlooms and antiques that we had held onto for years and years and had been in the family for generations. So, I sent emails to all the kids asking if they wanted any of the pieces we had decided to let go of, and they took their picks. Those that lived close by, we delivered with their help or they came and picked them up with the help of friends. We recently took the pieces we held for the daughter in OK out to her during that round trip. Other pieces went to friends of the family, or just friends. We could have sold many of the pieces for a decent amount of money, but I detest Craig's List and the inquires it brings... I believe in good Karma, you just have to wait for it to come back around.

The house is much more open now, airy and light, certainly made more so by the new hardwood flooring. The heirlooms have new homes. We had China Hutches filled with China and Crystal we never used. Cedar Chests filled with Antique Quilts we never took out of the protective Sleeves, and a Huge Sideboard filled with silver and China from Tina's side of the family with Duplicate China and Crystal. Now, it's passed on to the kids. They actually use it. Good for them.

[Sir Henry]

Almost all the furniture was picked out by Donna. She knew that I would have built it to be a memorial to her and she didn’t want that. She wanted me to completely change the house within two years.

She made me promise.

[Catherine]

I never found it hard to LET GO aka get rid of STUFF (GOOD stuff too.) before and after my late husband died. I lived in the same house that I built with my late husband for Over 30 years. First house that I built. Large brick house, full basement, first and second floors, large breezeway, VERY large garage with a loft and small barn on an acre of land in the middle of the boonies.

The second house that I built is one that I am living at now.

I may build my third and last house or cabin.

My late husband barely made it past 56 years old. I was younger than him - 51 years old.

He never asked me for any promise when it came to Keeping/Owning STUFF when it came to death/dying issues other than NO MACHINES/NO BS LIFE SUPPORT and he wanted to die in our own home which he DID DO. He was mentally with it to his last breath too. (I wanted the same thing for myself if I was dying first too. We had medical poa forms with our other legal papers.) When he could not walk or use a wheel chair... his doctor made a couple of house calls towards the end. I cared for him.

He did ask me to NOT keep his cremation ashes around for a LONG time. He did not believe in making memorials for people in the sense of never MOVING ON WITH LIFE. DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE.

Owning Stuff does not make life or death any better other than ENJOYING what you USE, MAKING YOUR LIFE EASIER SOMETIMES but not always, LOVING TO LOOK AT SOME THINGS, ETC.

So I scattered his ashes per his wishes, where he wanted them on the anniversary of our wedding after he died. He died in the winter close to Christmas. We were married in the summer so it was much easier for me to do this on my own in a remote and beautiful area. I handled his ashes - no one else did this for me even though I was not alone.

I have helped clean out and move some family members and CLOSE friends. A few others too. Some people... well... I don't understand their living styles and STUFF. I do understand when people do not have the TIME and always had very BUSY schedules. Other people have the time but don't make any effort and it turns into a real mess of dealing with it ALL.

Sell, donate and gift is my motto. USE it or lose it. Enjoy what you own in the moment because you may not have long to enjoy some stuff - life is short and LOVE YOUR PEOPLE while you can.

I am glad to hear that you are making progress, SH. Best wishes to you.

Cate