Could I impose on your time to give me an opinion?

[JEBar]

I admire your authoring a book and moving it to publication .... sorry, I can't be of any help with your question .... other than cook/grilling/smoking books, I've only bought one book since college .... that book is titled Five Years To Freedom written by Nick Rowe who was a Green Beret Lieutenant when he was captured in 1963 in Vietnam, his life became more than a matter of staying alive. In a Vietcong POW camp, Rowe endured beri-beri, dysentery, and tropical…he was the only Army officer to escape from one of their camps .... the bold print above is from his "book blurb" and I must admit I hadn't read it until you raised this question ....

[DsGrouse]

Thank you, That brings up more questions if you don't mind. Is there something that put you off on the cover making it, not the type of book you would be interested in? or is Science fiction/fantasy (be it hard science or soft) not the type of book you enjoy reading?

Exactly, don't care about fantasy or Si fi.
If I'm going to read fiction, I prefer espionage or a western, not that there are that much of the later anymore.
I liked the Tom Clancy stuff quite a bit, but I really don't read as much as I used to.

RP

I can understand that. I go through spurts where I only listen to one genre. Thanks for the input.

I admire your authoring a book and moving it to publication .... sorry, I can't be of any help with your question .... other than cook/grilling/smoking books, I've only bought one book since college .... that book is titled Five Years To Freedom written by Nick Rowe who was a Green Beret Lieutenant when he was captured in 1963 in Vietnam, his life became more than a matter of staying alive. In a Vietcong POW camp, Rowe endured beri-beri, dysentery, and tropical…he was the only Army officer to escape from one of their camps .... the bold print above is from his "book blurb" and I must admit I hadn't read it until you raised this question ....

I didn't do much reading until high school. I've been reading ever since. A decade or so ago, I started listening to audiobooks while working. Since then I've pretty much cut most other forms of media entertainment, save writing, out.

[DsGrouse]

I retooled and worked the blurb:

I am the sole survivor of the failed Dillon Dimensional Gate, and when I stumbled back through the gate, twenty-seven thousand settlers lost their connection to Earth Prime.

Adding insult to injury, the past two years of recovery were a series of harsh lessons, starting with my former employer publicly accusing me of having something to do with Dillon Dimensional Gate's failure.

Thanks to a brother from my days in the mud and blood, I have a new purpose that allows me to pilot SkipJacks while working to clear my name.

I have found a love, my Siren, that grounds my humanity as I forge mankind's path on new worlds when an adversary far older than anyone suspects finds me.

[Mags]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

[DsGrouse]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

That is what is on the cover.

[The Wiz]

I really like the new blurb.Succinct and to the point. Good rewrite!

[Mags]

I retooled and worked the blurb:
...

How about adding a Skipjack to the artwork? Then I think the blurb and artwork connect.

That is what is on the cover.

I didn't get that the artwork wasn't the cover. I don't recall ever seeing a blurb have it's own art work before. A blurb typically connects to the cover in some way.

[DsGrouse]

I didn't get that the artwork wasn't the cover. I don't recall ever seeing a blurb have it's own art work before. A blurb typically connects to the cover in some way.
[/quote]

Here is the cover,


The robot like things, are SkipJacks.

I really like the new blurb.Succinct and to the point. Good rewrite!

I am still working on the last paragraph.

I've gotten a bit of other feedback that I am going to give a go at. I'm not sure how it will go but I'll post here when it is ready. Take 37 on the blurb.

[daytime dave]

I like the rewrite except for the last sentence. It talks about finding a love and then goes into an adversary. Maybe talk about the adversary in a second sentence?

[DsGrouse]

I like the rewrite except for the last sentence. It talks about finding a love and then goes into an adversary. Maybe talk about the adversary in a second sentence?

How does this work out for you? I'll play with it a bit more, as I think i can cut down some of the second paragraph.

I am the sole survivor of the failed Dillon Dimensional Gate, and when I stumbled back through the gate, twenty-seven thousand settlers lost their connection to Earth Prime.

Adding insult to injury, the past two years of recovery were a series of harsh lessons, starting with my former employer publicly accusing me of having something to do with Dillon Dimensional Gate's failure. I fear an unseen adversary and believe they are far older than anyone suspects, and their reach across time, distance, and dimensions is unparalleled.

Thanks to a brother from my days in the mud and blood, I have a new purpose that allows me to pilot SkipJacks while working to clear my name.

I have found my love, my Siren, that grounds my humanity as I forge mankind's path on new worlds.

Here are two additional styles of blurbs that I am kicking around.

When Lightning strikes twice, you do not just burn; you char.

The sabotage of the industrial gate killed two people, scarred me, and cut off twenty-seven thousand colonists from Earth Prime.

I can pilot SkipJacks remotely again. I have found love in my Siren, and we strive to clear my name.

The evil that stalks us is old, older than we had surmised. Is what little humanity I have left enough to stand against it?

A colony world is lost; twenty-seven thousand colonists had their connection to humanity severed, and my former employer blames me.

The incident killed two people and left me charred. I am broken, alone, and recuperating when my old life knocks on my door with an explanation and an offer.

Is there enough of my humanity left to face foes untold?