You Can't Trust A Woman....

[BrokenolMarine]

I have to tell you... ... You just can't trust a woman when there is a bet on the line. Miss Tina and I were fishing our favorite farm pond, and had made a small bet. Nothing big mind you, but it was the principle of the thing. Now... ... Miss Tina doesn't like to lose. This farm pond, holds some monster bass, but they just didn't seem to be biting.

I love this pond. We drive thru three farm gates, across four pastures, dodge huge Black Angus cows, and ford a (hopefully) dry creek bed to reach it... but it's worth it. Sometimes, it's interesting. One time we came off the pond, and we had fished the ocean a couple days before. The COWS had licked all the SALT off the windows. They traded us... left behind dried green grassy cow spit. YOU can't see OUT of dried green grassy cow spit and the windshield washer fluid doesn't clean it. Luckily, I was a Marine... and had Windex, nearly a full bottle and a roll of paper towels in the Subaru. I had an empty bottle and NO paper towels when we were done.

On another occasion I look up and a huge cow is scratching her BUTT on the brush guard on the front of my brand new Nissan Frontier Pro4x... The rear end of the truck is moving up and down and the wheels are nearly rising off the ground.
I YELL at her, no joy.
I slap the water hard with the paddle. She is in ecstasy... no joy, she just continues to rub her big hairy butt on the brush guard and my truck is rocking.

I dig thru the waterproof box in the hatch in front of me and find my keys. I am grinning thinking how funny this is going to be. I point the key fob at the truck and push the alarm button. The lights flash, the horn blows and the alarm siren goes off....

SHE leaps forward and starts snorting and mooing, and kicks back and sprays the front of my truck with foul liquid grass from the rear cow exit. (Ah... green slimy poo.) Brush Guard, Grill, radiator.... Hood, even up on the windshield. Wait... NOT funny. (I had to go thru the CAR WASH on the way home and pressure wash the poo away... ) I never tried THAT Car Alarm Trick again.

Ah, where was I? Bet... Tina, And Fishing.
Oh yeah, she doesn't like to lose.

So, we are working our way around the pond, and I am ahead of her and about to turn the corner to work the back edge of the horseshoe shaped pond with the fly rod. Miss Tina is working the inside edge of the shoe. I glance back and like the look of the color of the kayak against the background and snap a pic just as I hear her make a funny clicking sound. A huge bass jumps into her kayak.

Wait... what?

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She reaches down and picks up the fish... lifts it to feel the weight... Hmmm...

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"Hey Baby," she calls, "Look what I caught!"

"Wow," I yell, "Nice Fish, your lucky day. I guess you win."

She holds it up and looks it over.....

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"Meh, I can do better," and slips it over the side.

She proceeds to catch two more bigger than that one.
I love that pond.

Sometimes Grumpy and the fly rod scores as well.

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[Les]

Great story, BOM! You really made me laugh with the cow's antics.

[CT_Shooter]

Great storytelling, Marine. It's always a pleasure to read your stuff and see your pics. Thanks.

[Sir Henry]

I remember as a kid we were loading a big bull into the back of a 1958 F100. The bull wanted no part of it and tried jumping over the side which was taller than he was. He ended up tipping the truck over. We would have settled for a little poo.

Fishing is great when they volunteer to jump in the boat.

[BrokenolMarine]

Thanks guys, glad you enjoy the yarns. The sad part is that it's ALL true.
Well, the part about the cows is all true anyway.
I would NEVER lie to you guys... about anything that mattered.

This is THE Subaru... a great little car, we put 240,000 miles on it before we traded it in on a 4wd truck, a bigger one ... the Titan. Only to pull the BIG kayak trailer for the charity. We still have the small personal kayak trailer.

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Here is the infamous Brush Guard... This truck had 100K miles on it when we traded it in.. for another Frontier.

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It's not only the BASS in the pond that are monsters. I could barely get my hand around this feller to get him off the hook.

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There are also other things in the pond that will put up a fight if you hook em. This guy was more than a foot long. I gave him plenty of room.

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We would Catch, Photo, and release everything, and Miss Tina and I were eventually the only ones, other than family allowed to fish the pond.
Someone began to fish it out. We haven't been back for some time due to health issues, but will hit it again come spring, and see if it's back healthy again.

BTW, that green slime is actually a plant called duckweed. When it dries on your skin or gear, you can wipe it away. It makes for GREAT fishing. Pull a Ribbit Frog across it slow... and the BASS hate that frog... they BLOW it out of the water with their strike.

[GFK]

Nice catch!

[BrokenolMarine]

Thanks GFK, I can't believe I've been able to keep her around this long either.

[GFK]

Well, I guess you must be doing something right BrokenolMarine.