Some Very Funny - Some Thought Provoking - Some I've Seen Before
Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:07 pm
Some Very Funny - Some Thought Provoking - Some I've Seen Before...
This is the first time in history we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up!
Wow! Bars, clubs and gyms all closed. My life is about to be exactly the same!
Hey creative community! Just a reminder that Shakespeare was quarantined for the plague when he wrote King Lear. No pressure!
Also highly contagious is kindness, patience, love, enthusiasm and a positive attitude. Don’t wait to catch it from others ... be the carrier!
Keep perspective: A 'Make A Wish' family had to cancel their plans and they may not get another chance.
Remember when we thought we were going to have a bad week because of the time change, full moon and Friday the 13th. We didn’t have a clue!
Definition of irony: Gas under two-fifty a gallon and no place to go.
Home schooling going well — two students suspended for fighting, one teacher fired for drinking on the job!
Maybe now society will realize we can make it without celebrities and professional sports ... but we can’t make it without farmers, ranchers and truckers!
Your parents and grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on your couch. You can do this!
April Fools Day is cancelled this year because no made up prank could match the unbelievable stuff going on in the world right now.
With March and April cancelled, the next holiday is Cinco De Mayo ... sponsored by Corona.
Stay inside, isolate or practice social distancing, clean yourself. LOL, I’ve become a house cat!
If the WuFlu forces Planned Parenthood to be closed for two weeks, the virus will have saved more lives than it has taken.
March morning 2040: John opened the last package of toilet paper bought by his parents in 2020.
Since everyone has started washing their hands like we’re supposed to, we’ll be working on shapes and colors next week.
If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 30-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before the WuFlu.
Due to panic buying, Walmart has opened register 3.
I’d hate to see a diarrhea virus breakout right now ... people are going to buy all the nose spray!
On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.
What if you had Coronavirus and Lyme disease?
The kid I hired to clean up the poop in the back yard just realized I don’t have a dog ... #OutOfToiletPaper
Pro Tip: If you get pulled over, just start coughing and coughing and coughing.
All these kids who have been learning Common Core math are about to learn how to 'Carry the One' from their new home school teachers.
That moment when you’re worried about the elderly and realize that you are the elderly.
Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home and will send us instructions about what to do and how to do it.
The folks who support open borders and the poop and needle filled streets are suddenly worried about a virus?!?
I say we close down the LameStream Media for 30 days and watch 80% of the world’s problems go away!
RP
This is the first time in history we can save the human race by lying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up!
Wow! Bars, clubs and gyms all closed. My life is about to be exactly the same!
Hey creative community! Just a reminder that Shakespeare was quarantined for the plague when he wrote King Lear. No pressure!
Also highly contagious is kindness, patience, love, enthusiasm and a positive attitude. Don’t wait to catch it from others ... be the carrier!
Keep perspective: A 'Make A Wish' family had to cancel their plans and they may not get another chance.
Remember when we thought we were going to have a bad week because of the time change, full moon and Friday the 13th. We didn’t have a clue!
Definition of irony: Gas under two-fifty a gallon and no place to go.
Home schooling going well — two students suspended for fighting, one teacher fired for drinking on the job!
Maybe now society will realize we can make it without celebrities and professional sports ... but we can’t make it without farmers, ranchers and truckers!
Your parents and grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on your couch. You can do this!
April Fools Day is cancelled this year because no made up prank could match the unbelievable stuff going on in the world right now.
With March and April cancelled, the next holiday is Cinco De Mayo ... sponsored by Corona.
Stay inside, isolate or practice social distancing, clean yourself. LOL, I’ve become a house cat!
If the WuFlu forces Planned Parenthood to be closed for two weeks, the virus will have saved more lives than it has taken.
March morning 2040: John opened the last package of toilet paper bought by his parents in 2020.
Since everyone has started washing their hands like we’re supposed to, we’ll be working on shapes and colors next week.
If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 30-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before the WuFlu.
Due to panic buying, Walmart has opened register 3.
I’d hate to see a diarrhea virus breakout right now ... people are going to buy all the nose spray!
On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.
What if you had Coronavirus and Lyme disease?
The kid I hired to clean up the poop in the back yard just realized I don’t have a dog ... #OutOfToiletPaper
Pro Tip: If you get pulled over, just start coughing and coughing and coughing.
All these kids who have been learning Common Core math are about to learn how to 'Carry the One' from their new home school teachers.
That moment when you’re worried about the elderly and realize that you are the elderly.
Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home and will send us instructions about what to do and how to do it.
The folks who support open borders and the poop and needle filled streets are suddenly worried about a virus?!?
I say we close down the LameStream Media for 30 days and watch 80% of the world’s problems go away!
RP
I was already holding in place.