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Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2021 9:40 pm
by Vaquero
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".
I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.
Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me? :D

RP

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2021 9:55 pm
by fortyshooter
Yep...let us enjoy those senior years for a long time!

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2021 8:42 am
by clovishound
I have a full set of SCUBA gear in the closet, but don't feel much like using it.

I can afford to buy most any toy I really want, but feel I need to keep my mad money available for an emergency.

I ride my bicycle not to get to where I need to go, but to help keep the waistline somewhat under control.

And............

I still don't have that Harley.

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2021 5:00 pm
by markiver54
Good one Randy!!😆

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2021 5:05 pm
by Dahliathemeh
Lol!! That's it!!

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2021 10:01 am
by Headhog
RP.

Amen amen amen.

Paul

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2021 9:29 pm
by JVogler
Lol...very funny. A lot of it is true for me.

Re: Having everything that I wanted as a teenager..

Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2021 9:30 pm
by JVogler
Lol...very funny. A lot of it is true for me.