Could I impose on your time to give me an opinion?

[DsGrouse]

On small piece was pointed out. Option B was past tense, and it should be present.

How does this flow for you?
Lightning not only boils flesh, it also chars bones.

A colony world is lost; twenty-seven thousand colonists are severed from humanity, and my former employer blames me.

The incident kills two people. I am broken, alone, and recuperating when my old life knocks on my door with an explanation and an offer.

I learn that the attack on the colony is not my foe's first attempt, nor do I believe it will be the last.

[daytime dave]

It's short, catchy and piques the interest as far as I can say.

[DsGrouse]

I believe this is the final tense change to Option B. This turns a couple of lines from past tense to Present perfect.

Lightning has not only boiled my flesh, it also charred my bones.

A colony world is lost; twenty-seven thousand colonists are severed from humanity, and my former employer blames me.

The incident has killed two people. I am broken, alone, and recuperating when my old life knocks on my door with an explanation and an offer.

I learn that the attack on the colony is not my foe's first attempt, nor do I believe it will be the last.

[daytime dave]

I believe this is the final tense change to Option B. This turns a couple of lines from past tense to Present perfect.

Lightning has not only boiled my flesh, it also charred my bones.

A colony world is lost; twenty-seven thousand colonists are severed from humanity, and my former employer blames me.

The incident has killed two people. I am broken, alone, and recuperating when my old life knocks on my door with an explanation and an offer.

I learn that the attack on the colony is not my foe's first attempt, nor do I believe it will be the last.

Sounds good.

[DsGrouse]

I tried my hand at writing a bit of Ad Copy/Synopsis

How does this read?

The Epic Science Fiction novel, "My Name is War," follows Raylan, who surveys new worlds, wages a proxy war to clear his name, and discovers there is much more to his past than he imagined.

Raylan finds himself lying in a hospital bed. Much of his life and the people he knew were nowhere to be found. The installation where he worked is gone; with it, the tenuous connection to Earth Prime for twenty-seven thousand souls.

His recuperation is long and arduous; he is alone and ostracized by the community around him. Whispers and rumors of him having something to do with the accident at the installation abound. Things look grim as a brother from his past, his days of being in the mud and the blood knocks on his door.

With that friendly face comes an explanation and an offer for better things. It's a chance to clear his karmic debt, build something new, and possibly pilot SkipJacks again.

In a life beyond his wildest dreams, he finds a peer, an equal, a paragon of industry, and a love to last thousands of years. Together, they are more than the sum of their parts, and with this love comes an old foe—a nightmare from their separate pasts. If it is the same foe, it is old, older than people believe is possible in this new wonderous age of rejuvenation therapies.

In this epic story, Earth Prime's ancient past faces off against the future the universe will allow it to have while revealing humanity's role in the untold history of man, space, and the cosmos.

With the aid of a love that grounds Raylan's humanity, the pair will face off against the mundane evils that humans breed, foes so long forgotten they are but myths in our memories, and a power that is only rapacious hunger for life.

"My Name is War" is the first book in this five-volume epic series. It's a story of a man setting aside desires and wants to stand as a sentinel for the future of all mankind. Evan DeShais enthralls as he delivers a slow-burning tale that pays back with each page turned as Raylan and his allies face fears, sorrows, loss, redemption, and success against all comers.

Be sure to watch out for future volumes of this Sci-Fi adventure that spans thousands of Earths and many worlds in the richly developed Earth Prime universe.

[daytime dave]

Afer our small but epic journey to help you, I think this best explains the book you have written. Even though I haven't read it, after our discussions, it seems to sum up those conversations and add to them to make a nice summary.

[DsGrouse]

A small set of adjustments to the Ad Copy.

The Epic Science Fiction novel, "My Name is War," follows Raylan, who guards dimensional gates, wages a proxy war to clear his name, and discovers there is much more to his past than he imagined.

Raylan finds himself lying in a hospital bed. Much of his life and the people he knew were nowhere to be found. The installation where he worked is gone, and with it, the tenuous connection for twenty-seven thousand souls to Earth Prime.

His recuperation is long and arduous; he is alone and ostracized by the community around him. Whispers and rumors of him having something to do with the accident at the installation abound. Things look grim as a man from his past, his days of being in the mud and the blood knocks on his door.

With that friendly face comes an explanation and an offer for better things. It's a chance to clear his karmic debt, build something new, and possibly pilot SkipJacks again.

In a life beyond his wildest dreams, he finds a peer, an equal, a paragon of industry, and a love to last thousands of years. Together, they are more than the sum of their parts, and with this love comes an old foe—a nightmare from their separate pasts. If it is the same foe, it is old, older than people believe is possible in this new wonderous age of rejuvenation therapies.

In this epic story, Earth Prime's ancient past faces off against the future the universe will allow it to have while revealing humanity's role in the untold history of man, space, and the cosmos.

With the aid of a love that grounds Raylan's humanity, the pair will face off against the mundane evils that humans breed, foes so long forgotten they are but myths in our memories, and a power that is only rapacious hunger for life.

"My Name is War" is the first book in this five-volume epic series. It's a story of a man setting aside desires and wants to stand as a sentinel for the future of all mankind. Evan DeShais enthralls as he delivers a slow-burning tale that pays back with each page turned as Raylan and his allies face fears, sorrows, loss, redemption, and success against all comers.

Be sure to watch out for future volumes of this Sci-Fi adventure that spans thousands of Earths and many worlds in the richly developed Earth Prime universe.

[daytime dave]

That gives a few more details and it's just that much better than the previous version. Well done.

[DsGrouse]

So, hopefully, OCT 31st. I've formatted it and found a few errors from formatting that I need to clean up. I've got to update the blurb and ad copy. Then it is a matter of uploading it to Google Play Books, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Ingram Spark, Direct 2 Digital, Kobo, and Apple. I'll have to sort out any errors that each of those sites comes up with and situate the formatting for paperback/tradeback before release.

So, that's what's left. Not including link tree, and organizing advertising blots on Instagram and Facebook. I'm not sure I'll run an Amazon ad yet. I think I want to put together a website and mailing list prior to kicking off Amazon ads.

[daytime dave]

It sounds like a plan.